Beyond a certain age (1), fantasies of
escape into another life don’t work anymore.
The illusion of ultimate vindication has faded. This psychological state of mind also has an
economic counterpart: a dwindled bargaining power in the labour market. Contrary to any lingering naive traditional
belief, age does not command more, but rather less consideration in the work
place. Witness a manager’s apt words, referring to a complaining staff-member of-a-certain-age
: “ I don’t give a damn. At his age he can’t go anywhere”.
May this bleak introduction help my dear
blog-readers to imagine the kind of
claustrophobic office atmosphere that,
especially in times of economic crisis, weighs upon those who lack the
unshakable belief in the imminence &
indispensability of their own skills.
And perhaps my thus primed blog-readers can now readily understand the
supreme importance of a Refreshing Lunch
Break Walk.
“Walk,
I definitely must, to invigorate myself and to maintain contact with the living
world” (2)
From the moment the revolving doors spew me
out on the busy sidewalk, tortuous brooding gives way to alert navigating
amidst hectic pedestrian traffic . So
many people going so determinedly about their business – boarding buses, going down metro stairs, queuing at stationery counters, buying sandwiches, sipping from steaming
paper cups of coffee. So many people
conversing so earnestly with their live companions or on their mobile. “I got myself super glue, and man, that works!”
“No, on Saturday I can’t, sorry”. Heavy buses thunder past, nimble taxis speed
by, all in swooshing sprays of muddy water.
What a flexible and adaptive species we
are, I sigh with admiration, noting how
appropriately dressed all these people are, in perfect tune with the intensely
grey & chilly November drizzle.
Overcoats, boots, thick scarves, and umbrella’s! Many umbrellas! I love umbrellas.
I love to watch people with
their umbrellas. There’s a truly s’ theatrical dancing quality to people
walking with umbrella’s . Perhaps it’s a
prop that brings out latent acting qualities in people? A widespread subconscious re-enacting of ‘Singing in the rain”?
In any case, the three ladies in front of me do a great act, dressed in
black tap-dancing boots, swirling umbrella’s in beige, red and pink. Yeah, they make a splash, and they make my
day. I hurry behind them with my camera,
following them around this corner and
the next. Delighting in their
choreography, thrilled by their cheerful chattering Spanish. My three Autumn Graces ....
One last picture ....then I have to bid my
Graces goodbye and must turn to walk back to work. Walking bravely, and not lost in sombre
apprehensions at all, quite the
contrary! Because there’s still that
lovely little square to cross, the small park with its black iron railings
overgrown with moss. I watch the leaves
turning and falling and drifting against the railings.(3) I permit myself visions of urban autumnal
romance ... a park in foggy London ...
I
conveniently forget the serious& utilitarian pedigree of this neighbourhood
and deftly ignore the prominent statues of captains of industry. Instead
I turn my gaze to an angel up there, yes an angel! Shiny and gilded, floating,
fleeing forward in the autumn haze ...
Daphne, about to transform in
turbulently turning leaves?
What a feat of civilisation past, so I
stand there musing... railings with beautifully crafted ironwork, gleaming
angels spreading out their wings, tenderly shaped flower beds ... As a token of
my love and admiration I once again point my camera at the little park .... and then quickly
conceal it, because I spot some colleagues coming my way. And one cannot be seen swooning over black
railings and gilded angels, now can one?
accompanying notes to a refreshing walk
- Do pick your own number, dear blog-reader. In any case, an age already more advanced than Swann’s at the moment of being described thus by Proust: “à l’âge déjà un peu désabusé dont approchait Swann”
- Robert Walser – The Walk
- Janet Frame – “The envoy from mirror city” : “I said goodbye to London [...] I watched the leaves turning and falling and drifting against the black railings of the parks. I saw the sun change to blood-red and stand on end upon the winterbeaten grass of the Common; I watched the people with a new urgency in their gait, hurrying to their homes”
- Robert Walser – “The Walk” – “It really is shockingly vulgar the way people impede me here from making my elegant studies and from plunging into the most superb profundities. While I have grounds for indignation, I would rather be meek and endure with a good grace; thoughts of bygone beauty and loveliness, and the pale image of sunken nobility may well be sweet; but on the world around and on one’s fellow men one will not therefore have cause to turn one’s back. One cannot possibly talk oneself into believing that one is entitled to resent people and their contrivances because they disregard the state of mind of him whose desire it is to be absorbed in the realms of history and thought.”
2 comments:
This was a beautiful bit of writing, fff. You sound a bit like a happier version of Pessoa!
:-)
Could I just recommend: next time you're in London do visit the small gem, 'Postman's park' and the lovely (but neglected) museum of London next to it.
Best wishes and salams,
b.
hello b.--- a bleaker version of Pessoa would be pretty bleak indeed...
thanks for the "Postman's park' tip !
best,
fff
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