and then, 25 years later, one finds a book ...



25 years ago, I didn’t take pictures yet, nor did I write down any impressions.  But it was a project of the imagination all the same: travelling across Europe by train, visiting harbour cities. I had never sailed, never been aboard a ship (except the ferry to Dover, in pre-Eurostar days) but somehow I’d picked up a longing for seafaring cities.  Of course, the trip mainly taught me that European harbours are busy industrial-commercial places with little romance attached. 

Nowhere more so than in Brest, with its huge industrial and military harbour complexes. Its sheer vastness, with a certain emptiness, a certain whiteness, a certain in-hospitability … I remember walking for miles & miles along broad winding & climbing roads – seeing the dock yards below, with no-entry signs everywhere.   
And yet – such is the mystery of places & souls -  “Brest”, for me, to this day, encapsulates all the breezy allure of  “le grand large” combined with the urban trappings of transit, a certain seediness so indulgent of aimless wanderers. 
            
But frankly, I hardly ever think about Brest anymore, and these days my main escape route to le grand large, is boarding a train for Antwerp, to go and greet the river Scheldt.

On one such Antwerp escapade, entering a local second hand bookshop, I was startled and intrigued to see there on display a little booklet titled  Un amour de Brest”. 
Leafing through it, I almost gasped   - ah, those pictures – catching both the breezy whiteness of the docks and the colourful bustle of a harbour city.   

The book’s previous owner-reader had visibly been moved, too, leaving a loving trail of sentences underlined in blue ink.  I could have cried with recognition, reading one such marked phrase:  et puis, un jour,  tu débarques à Brest” – “and one day one alights at Brest”.    Ach,  25 years after my own debarking at Brest, to find this little book, as an unexpected gift with words & pictures sanctioning my intuitions of so many years ago.
At the counter, the shop assistant looked appreciatively at the little book. “Are you happy with your find? I didn’t know them at all, neither the writer, nor the illustrator.  The pictures are beautiful, aren’t they?” 

At a certain age, one grows weary of one’s own inarticulate longings and illusions. Knowing that the world is just what it is, one has tired of looking & longing for something that simply isn’t there.  One wisely discounts the imagination, mindful not to overreach reality.

But then, all the more, what a relief, what a gift – when a melody, a picture, a happy phrase in a book captures such a longing, creates beauty with it, turns a figment of the imagination into a tangible reality which can be shared with others. 
One is less alone with one’s idiosyncratic longings than one has been trained to think. 
Somewhere out there, there’s a sympathetic companion-book, even if it takes 25 years to find it.



Bibliographic  Note:
"Un amour de Brest – Qu’est-ce qu’elle a, ma ville?"  Par Hervé Hamon (Récit) et Anne Smith (Dessins et peintures)  (dialogues éditeur – 2008)

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